Childhood's Thief
by Beechwood0708
Summary: In the summer of 1979, a year after the show, Eddy's brother returns, and changes a few things. Rated for underage sex and ofage group sex.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Only Arnie and his OC lovers are owned by me. All other characters are owned by Danny Antonucci.

Chapter One

Marie opened her eyes, careful not to move too much and wake May, who snuggled in her arms, slightly on top of her to keep her less dressed sister warm. She had been sleeping badly for a while, and though she was grateful for a good night's sleep for once, she knew she would not be able to drop back off now that she had woken.

She was lying between her part of the bed and the centre, where Lee used to sleep, and she still felt as though she was sleeping in the wrong place, but if she did sleep in her part of the bed, she would feel alone, as the centre would be empty, so she and May had to move closer in to hold each other. How she would cope once she got married or started living with somebody or even just slept with someone she didn't know, because to her a double bed felt so empty with only two people in it. And the covers were so oppressively heavy. And the bed was so cold.

She shivered and snuggled a little closer to May. She looked up, over her sister's head, but the still, glazed stare of David Bowie nonplussed her, so she tried looking the other way, where she found Bob Dylan's eyes just as unnerving. She moved her eyes to the ceiling directly above her head, where all four of the Rolling Stones looked down at her, and she wondered how the hell May could be so damn comfortable with all those eyes around.

She felt May beginning to wake up. She didn't move, but the sisters were so close they could always tell. "Mmm… morning," grunted May.

"Morning," replied Marie.

"Sleep well?" asked May.

"Better than usual," answered Marie. "You?"

"Same," said May. She rolled onto her back and looked up at the Rolling Stones, smiling a little. "Not gonna now though."

"Me neither," agreed Marie.

The sisters got up together, May waited while Marie took a shower, then Marie made some breakfast while May took hers. They ate together, talking about what silly little nothings they could do that day. Both had homework, but it had been pushed aside to be completed at, if not after, the last minute.

"Morning, girls," shouted a loud voice like honey and gravel, as the trailer door swung open. Marie and May said nothing. Lee was wearing men's jeans and a dirty camisole, and her hair had been piled up in a messy and half-hearted attempt at her usual style. She grabbed a rasher of bacon from May's plate and stuffed it in her mouth.

"Hey, Marie didn't make that for you!" screeched May.

"Shame; I was hungry," said Lee, thwapping May on the head and almost knocking her off her chair. "I'm not staying, I just need some extra clothes and some food," she explained, not looking at either of them but rooting through a cupboard. She came up with a few boxes of cereal and some bread, and then went for the stairs.

"Your clothes are down here," Marie said, pointing at the cardboard boxes in the corner, "where we put them."

"Good," said Lee, pulling out various items. "Well, I'll be seeing you later…" She reached out to punch May on the shoulder.

"You touch her again," threatened Marie.

Lee glared at her. Threatening Lee was something the other Kanker sisters had never done before. True, Lee and Marie were not quite evenly matched, and the cards would be stacked in Marie's favour, but Lee was so dominant that no one dared go against her. Was she dominant down in the ditch with the others, the members of the club, Marie wondered. Like her sisters, Lee had never slept in a bed with anyone else. Just that ditch behind the trailer park. They had barely seen her, and not once when she was wanted, since he had come along. He was a shortish young man who had introduced himself simply as Arnie, with long thick blue hair tied in a simple ponytail, and ladies' high-heeled mules to make himself look taller. He had been wearing a tight-fitting silk shirt and ladies' jeans, and the sisters had heard him singing and come out to see who was there. He was charming, and seemed to have taken a shine to both Lee and Marie, but lost all interest in Marie when he found out she was only fifteen. But he had asked Lee out, and she had accepted. Her sisters slept without her that night, and she came back at ten in the morning saying that she had met his friends and they had all gone down into the ditch, and she was going back to join them. She had reappeared a few times over the last few months, never staying, and always leaving them alone in the end.

Lee walked on past May, not touching her, and left them again.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"I don't care Eddy, my money's staying right where it is!" thundered Peach Creek's littlest volcano, Sarah Brewer. Furthermore than refusing to be a good sucker, Sarah turned her fearsome fists to Eddy's Polaroid Ghost Detector and reduced it to a pile of rubble within minutes. "Come on Jimmy," she smiled sweetly at her best friend, and they skipped off together.

"Damn Sarah, wish I could get one over on her for once…" Eddy grumbled.

"I got an idea," said a voice that sent shivers down his spine.

Leaning on a street sign was Marie Kanker, in all her hostile glory, black combats suggestively exposing her hips, ripped vest baring her arms and belly, and a devious smile on her face. Her sweeter, dumber sister May was standing close by.

"What do you want?" demanded Eddy.

"I got an idea," repeated Marie. "They're the ones who still don't know where babies come from, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Name your price and tell 'em you can get pictures that will explain everything."

"And I'm supposed to do this just because you say so?"

"No, but just remember; they'll be having sex ed talks at school next year, and then you'll never be able to exploit their weakness."

Despite his hatred of her, Eddy knew Marie was right. "Alright, I'll try it," he said.

As Eddy went to make his pitch to Sarah and Jimmy, May examined the Polaroid camera in the debris. "It's pretty battered but it's still better than ours," she concluded.

"Okay," said Marie, her devilish smile returning. "Meet us at our trailer tonight with the camera. Midnight okay for you?"

"Umm… yeah, I guess," answered Eddy, looking at his friends.

"We'll see you then," said Marie, who turned on her heels and left with May behind her.

* * *

Just after midnight, Eddy felt his way through the darkness towards the trailer park, Edd beside him, shaking and complaining nervously, and Ed behind, doing his best to grin through the ball gag Eddy had deemed necessary.

"Eddy, I don't think this is wise," whispered Edd with a quaver in his voice.

"Double D, as long as we're careful, nothing can go wrong. That's what you're here for," said Eddy. "Besides, did you see what Jimmy gave me? Almost two dollars, Double D, that's thirty-seven jawbreakers."

"But trusting the Kanker sisters? What if they're just trying to scam you out of the money you scammed out of Jimmy?"

"I didn't bring it with me, sockhead."

"Oh…" said Edd. "That was wise. But even still, if the Kankers are sincere, what are we doing? Pictures that will explain where babies come from; Eddy, it sounds like you just sold amateur pornography to children."

Edd could no longer finish what he was saying. Eddy stopped short next to him, and he looked down to see Marie and May Kanker, dressed in thick jackets, sleeping together under a tree, their arms around each other.

"Umm… guys?" Eddy called softly.

Edd reached down and gently shook Marie's shoulders, as Ed and Eddy watched him as though he was about to commit suicide. Marie jumped and stood up, causing May to shriek in shock.

"Whatwuzzat!?" May screamed.

"Relax May, it's just the Eds," said Marie. She yawned. "Sorry, we haven't been sleeping well lately."

"So why are we here?" demanded Eddy. "What are we doing?"

"Oh you'll see," replied Marie, that evil smile just visible as it returned to her face once again. "Follow us."

May led the way through the trees. Marie followed, and the Eds came behind as a group. They walked for just a few minutes, just over a quarter of an hour, Edd guessed, before May stopped the group. "Listen," she whispered. Straining their ears, they could hear voices from not too far away. A female voice was speaking, and then a male replied.

"A little bit further," May whispered, and crept on just a few paces. "There," she said, pointing into a nearby ditch. "Snap away."

Eddy crept forward with the camera. There was a man sitting in the ditch. He was hot, he was sweaty and he was naked, but he was also alone. Shaking, Eddy raised the camera to his face, but moved it again when he noticed something oddly familiar about the man in the ditch. The man looked round, probably looking for the woman who had been with him, and having a clear view of the man's profile, Eddy gasped.

"Sasha? Tyler?" he asked. "Is that you? Are you okay?" He looked up to the top of the ditch, and saw Eddy. "Oh god."

Eddy stood, for once speechless, for almost a whole minute. "Arnie?" he managed to choke eventually.

His brother had changed a lot in three years. He would, Eddy remembered, be just five weeks short of his nineteenth birthday by now. His hair, which had always been meticulously dyed the perfect shade of blue, had grown long and wavy, and he was thinner, but also more toned. And Eddy had never seen him naked before, let alone in the ditch behind the Park and Flush trailer park. But what seemed even stranger than this to Eddy was the expression on his brother's face; one of embarrassment and slight fear as he tried almost pathetically to hide his genitalia from Eddy's view.

"Eddy what are you doing here?" Arnie asked. His eyes fell on the Polaroid camera. "Were you taking pictures of me?"

"No- I-"

"Eddy you have to go. I'll be coming home soon but I can't come now. I'm having some special time with my new girlfriend."

"Like you don't every night," seethed Marie, stepping up beside Eddy.

"Marie, please, this is really special. It's just the two of us tonight."

Marie meant to come out with another biting attack on him, but all she could do on hearing this was choke.

"Arnie, I've found some chardonnay," sang a seductive, familiar voice like honey and gravel. Eddy snapped his head further down the ditch where, sure enough, Lee Kanker stood naked and tall, a bottle of wine in one hand and two glasses in the other. She had a wide smile on her face and her bright red curls, looking dark in the dim starlight, hung down to her waist. As she saw the fearful look on Arnie's face she looked up to the top of the ditch and saw Eddy, Marie and now May, Ed and Edd looking down, all wearing expressions of shock and surprise. Lee gasped and tried to cover her breasts with her arms while still keeping hold of the wine and glasses and bend one leg over her genitalia.

No one spoke for minutes. To all of them it felt like waiting for Judgement Day. Finally, it was Eddy who broke the silence. "How… how could you? That's sick," he retched.

"You wanna know something else?" asked Marie, her face now covered in the most demonic smile Eddy had ever seen. "He's been here nearly three months."

Eddy's face corrupted in rage. "Come home now," he ordered.

"Eddy, that's not the best idea…"

"GET OUT OF THAT DITCH AND COME HOME NOW!" Eddy roared, causing everyone around him to take a step away.

Arnie took a deep breath and prepared himself for the worst. "Okay," he said, sounding like a frightened mouse under his younger brother. "Let me just put some clothes on."

Eddy refused his brother any unnecessary time. Arnie was permitted only to put on his jeans, without underwear, before he climbed out of the ditch and followed his brother out of the trees, back to the cul-de-sac, and home. Ed and Edd followed nervously, and Marie and May followed behind them, even more nervously. Marie noticed that Arnie, like his brother, was unusually short without his high heels, and was probably shorter than she was.

Eddy took them all through the door to his bedroom, not bothering to find out why Marie and May had decided to come back too. "Mom! Dad!" he called.

"Eddy, what's wrong?" came Mrs Bewley's panic-stricken voice from upstairs. She burst into his room from the other door, and her mouth fell open at the sight of her shirtless and barefooted elder son, wearing nothing but a dirty pair of women's jeans. "Arnie?" she stammered.

"Hi Mom," replied Arnie, his voice barely more than a whisper.

"What- where?"

"We found him hanging out behind the trailer park," said Eddy.

"Oh?"

"Having sex with my sister," added Marie.

"Oh!" her reaction was caused partly by hearing of her son's sexual experience with one of the Kanker girls of all people, and partly because in the shock of seeing Arnie for the first time in three years, she hadn't realised the others were there.

"Oh- um- never mind- Arnie- er- would anyone like a cup of tea?" Mrs Bewley asked.

There was a chorus of "no, thank you", and one "yes!" from May, which was immediately contradicted by Marie.

"Darling! Darling!" Mrs Bewley called up the stairs. "It's Arnie! He's home!"

Her husband's massive frame came thumping down to his son's room. "My god!" he exclaimed, throwing his well-built arms around his slender son. Arnie smiled nervously.

"What's going on?" came another voice, stern and angry. Three more people had appeared in the doorway. On the left was Lee Kanker, now hastily dressed, and on the right was a young man wearing leather pants and a zipped-up jacket. Centrally was the speaker, a young woman in a loose blue dress with brown hair cut into a bob. "I've just heard that my boyfriend has been kidnapped by teenagers."

Mrs Bewley stared at the woman. "This is the Kanker girl?" she asked.

"No," said Lee. "I'm 'the Kanker girl'."

"So…" said Mrs Bewley, trying to get her head around this. "You're with both of them?" She glared at Arnie. "You're a womaniser."

Panicking, Arnie said the worst possible thing, because it seemed like a good idea at the time. "It's not like that Mom!" he insisted. "I do it with men too!"

His parents choked in shock, before his father screamed "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Arnie tried to reason with them, but ended up sprinting for his life out of the back door, his partners behind him.

"And the rest of you," seethed Mrs Bewley. "Go home before I tell your parents."

Ed and Edd ran for their lives. May inched towards the door, but Marie hung back and said a concerned "Good night, Eddy," before fleeing at a walk from his mother's piercing gaze.

"G'night," May trembled before she followed, shutting the door behind her.

"Mom, Dad, I was just trying to-"

"Go to bed, Eddy," snapped his mother, as she and his father walked from the room and left him alone in the dark.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Eddy lay in bed for hours that morning, unable to sleep in the intruding daylight, but afraid to get up and confront his parents. But while they would usually have berated him for wasting half the day hours ago, today they left him alone. At one o' clock in the afternoon, when he could stand it no longer, he finally crept to the bathroom and got ready, and tried to creep back to his room to use that door to leave.

"Eddy?" his mother called as he was about to open his bedroom door. He turned slowly. "Good morning Eddy. Or good afternoon. You slept late."

"Yeah, I…"

"Would you like some pancakes?"

Eddy did a double take. Pancakes? Last night his parents had been in the throes of a major fury, now they were offering to make him pancakes?

"Or how about if we skip the pancakes and I make you some lunch? Or we could go to McDonalds if you want."

"Er, some lunch would be fine," he answered.

He followed her to the kitchen, and sat down as she busied herself making some food and some strained conversation, in which he was uncomfortably aware that she was concentrating very hard on what to say next, and that the normality of her questioning; what did he plan to do today; how were his friends doing, was simply a thinly veiled excuse to keep them both distracted.

Finally she sat down opposite him and placed down a BLT sandwich; his favourite.

"Thanks Mom," he said, somewhat confused.

As he took his first huge bite, his mother took a deep breath. "Now Eddy," she said. "I want you to know about Arnie. I know we might have seemed a little rash and unreasonable last night, but some of the things Arnie said that he'd done… aren't really right. They're unfair, and they're unnatural, and we don't want him to be a bad influence on you. We know you look up to him and we don't want to spoil it for you. We're not mad at you, Eddy. We know you were just trying to do the right thing by bringing him back, and we're very proud of you. We just want to do what's best for you."

Eddy stared, his eyes agape. "But… how could you do that to Arnie? He's my brother. He's your son."

"Don't forget how he left us all without telling anyone. You remember how you worried as much as anyone. After he put us all through that, he might still be our son, but he's not quite the son that you are."

Eddy sat in silence, finishing his sandwich in small bites. His mother, afraid of the silence, produced a five dollar bill from her purse with a shaking hand. "Here," she said, pushing it across the table. "I'm sure you just want to go out and play. Why don't you go to the candy store or something?"

He took it, and mumbled a quiet "Thanks Mom," then ran outside.

Outside he found Edd leaning on a fence, apparently bored senseless. Ed was nowhere to be seen. "Hi Eddy!" he called as Eddy came out.

"Hey Double D," replied Eddy. "Where's Ed?"

"He's grounded; his Mom caught him sneaking back in. He triggered the sleepwalker alarms," answered Edd.

"What about you?"

"Oh," said Edd, apparently caught slightly off-guard by the question. "Mother and Father don't know. I was careful." He leaned back against the fence. "What about you Eddy? Was your mother angry?"

"Y'know, I thought she was gonna murder me this morning," answered Eddy, "but she made me a sandwich and gave me five bucks."

"Wow!" grinned Edd, his eyes going wide under his omnipresent black beanie. "You should sneak out more often Eddy."

"Yeah, I'll go out and look for some other siblings I didn't know I had." He smiled. Despite the strangeness of the conversation with his mother, this few minutes with Edd made everything feel right and normal again.

"Oh dear," said Edd looking down the street. "Speaking of siblings…"

"EDDY! Where's the pictures you promised us!?"

Sarah stood directly in front of Eddy, hands on her hips, in a classic image of defiance. Jimmy stood slightly behind in a feeble mockery of the stance.

"Oh, er, I- I couldn't get them. I won't be able to get them. Here, have your money back." Eddy pushed the money, and a fair amount of sweat, quickly into Sarah's hand. "Come on Double D, let's go do something."

He walked away, Edd hesitantly following.

"Eddy, wait!" called Jimmy. Eddy turned back. "I only gave you one eighty-five; this is a five dollar bill." He held the money out in his palm as Sarah gave him a look of 'what did you do that for?'

"Oh right," said Eddy, fumbling in his pocket for Jimmy's change, which he found and replaced for the five dollars. "Thanks squirt."

Eddy walked away. Edd hurried up to him. "Eddy, are you sure you're alright?" he asked.

"Sure thing Double D, why wouldn't I be?" replied Eddy.

"Well, a voluntary refund is hardly in character-"

"It's a fanfiction, you can't expect it to be perfect."

"Eddy, even the laziest author wouldn't make that mistake-"

"Double D look, I'm fine, okay!" snapped Eddy. "I even got five bucks out of it." He took a breath. "Come on; let's go to the candy store."

They walked to the candy store in uncomfortable silence, with Eddy trying again to catch some more of Edd's happy sense of normality, but there was none coming. Rather than spend the whole five dollars, Eddy bought fifty cents worth of jawbreakers for himself, the same for Edd and another fifty cents worth for Ed, which they decided to lock away in the junkyard until Ed could come out again, since neither trusted the other not to eat them. This aroused further concern from Edd as to Eddy's wellbeing, but Eddy shrugged them off, and eventually the sugar went to their heads and they were smiling and messing around again as normal.

"And we could fly between there and there-"

"_Pssst!"_

Eddy looked around. He could just see his brother's obscured figure hiding behind a corner. Eddy and Edd came over.

"Eddy, were you okay after last night? Double D?"

"We were fine. Eddy even landed five dollars," answered Edd.

"Really?" asked Arnie.

"Yeah. It was really strange. She was being so nice to me," replied Eddy.

"You mean she's not normally?" asked his brother.

"Well, yeah, I mean… she's a mom," said Eddy.

"If you have any problems with her, or with Dad, Eddy, you know you can come away with me. I don't exactly have a concrete home right now, but if you think my open-air hole-in-the-ground accommodation's any better than at home, you're welcome to stay," Arnie offered.

"Thanks bro," said Eddy, quite taken aback.

"Hey, tell you what!" grinned Arnie, the same grin that dominated Eddy's face when he had thought of a particularly devious scam. "My girlfriend Christine's just opened a new club sort of thing, and I'm doing some of the entertainments. If you want, tonight, but don't tell Christine, I could have the back door left open for you."

"Arnie, that'd be brilliant!" Eddy exclaimed. "Wouldn't it Double D?"

"Couldn't Christine get into a lot of trouble if we were caught?"

"Aw, come on sockhead, it wouldn't be the first time I've talked you into something dangerous," cajoled Eddy.

"Well that's true," admitted Edd.

"Great!" said Arnie, his smile spreading. "Invite your friends. As many as you want." He saw the same smile spreading across Eddy's face. "And don't charge them; it's a favour," he added.

"I wasn't gonna!"

"I know you Eddy, your mind's only on one thing, and not the same thing my mind's always on," Arnie teased. "Look, sorry to run, but I don't want to be seen just now. I don't know how all the kids are going to react."

"Arnie… I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it Eddy," said Arnie. "See, that's why I hadn't come back yet. I was scared. Scared of that. I mean, Mom and Dad aren't exactly alternative, are they. But I would have done the same if I were you. I was a bastard."

"But at least you're back," said Eddy.

"Yeah, for a whole five minutes," laughed Arnie. "And speaking of which, I really have to go again. Things to be, people to do."

"Alright," pouted Eddy. "See you tonight."

"Bye Eddy. Bye Double D."

Arnie ran off in the direction of the trailer park.

"You're really going to sneak out two nights in a row?" asked Edd.

"You said I should do it more often," reasoned Eddy. "Come on, let's go invite the kids."

They invited Rolf, Nazz, Jonny and, reluctantly, Kevin, and shoved a note through Ed's window, as he was too afraid of his mother's reaction to actually speak to them, but decided against inviting Sarah and Jimmy, thinking it probably wasn't too good an idea to invite ten-year-olds to clubs.

"Eleven pm sharp, by the lane," Eddy told them, before heading home to decide what to wear that night.

Before he said goodbye to Edd, though, a twang in his head that had been bugging him finally came out. "Double D, I keep thinking," he said. "I keep thinking we should ask May and Marie."

"The Kankers!?" choked Edd. "But Eddy… the Kankers!? They scare me."

"But they found him, didn't they," argued Eddy. "They tried to do something without trying to do something creepy to us for once, and they led us to my brother. If it wasn't for them, we wouldn't even be going to this club."

"I guess you're right, but I'm not going to ask them with you. I draw the line at the Kanker sisters," insisted Edd.

"Nope," argued Eddy. "You're coming, sockhead." And he grabbed Edd's arm and they were away."

Despite his assurance, Eddy too felt a wave of panic and nausea as he looked at the Kankers' trailer door.

"We could always turn back Eddy," whispered Edd.

"No," said Eddy, confidently moving forward. "I'm going to ask them." He strode forward and knocked on the trailer door.

There was a sound of movement from inside, and a moment later the door opened, with Marie behind it, leaning on the door, with her usual flirty smile in place of the evil one she had worn the day before.

"Hi sugar dumplin'," she grinned, leering at the both of them. "Come to ask me out?"

"Um, yeah, actually," stammered Eddy.

Marie's face dropped into the oddest expression of disbelief ever, and it was all Eddy could do to stop himself laughing. "Really?"

"Yeah," replied Eddy. "You and May. To this club, Christine's, in town. My brother's performing there. He said he'd leave the back door open."

"Oh Eddy…"

"It wouldn't just be us," garbled Eddy. "There's Ed, and all the kids from the cul-de-sac. Except Sarah and Jimmy, so don't tell them."

"Thank you!" She spun round and shouted up the stairs. "Hey May! We're going out tonight!"

"Whoa, you're loud," gasped Eddy. "Won't your mom mind you going?"

"No she won't mind," maintained Marie, with, Eddy noticed and Edd saw plainly, a slight hint of defensiveness. "She won't mind at all."

"Wow," said Eddy. "You have a great mom."

"Yeah. Great," said Marie.

"So err, we'll see you at eleven by the lane," said Eddy, changing the subject before Marie got upset and pounded someone.

Marie smiled again. "Thanks Eddy."

She closed the door to the trailer and Eddy returned to Edd, who was still a safe few feet from the trailer.

"See sockhead," he said. "I don't know what you were afraid of."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: lyrics from "John I'm Only Dancing" belong to David Bowie. All Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy characters still belong to Danny Antonucci.

Chapter Four

Eddy met Edd outside his house. He had chosen to dress quite formally, wearing a white shirt with a few buttons undone, with a black jacket and tie, black pants and a pair of white boots with four-inch heels, and, of course, his favourite leopard-print undies. Edd was dressed more casually, in a black t-shirt with an undone red shirt over the top, black jeans and a pair of brown boots with small Cuban heels. They waited for Ed in the street, and he came out with extreme caution, painfully afraid of triggering the sleepwalker alarms again. Ed had come out in a mish-mash of styles, including a smart black shirt, tight blue jeans tucked into big black bovver boots and his old green grunge jacket.

"Looking good boys," said Eddy, slightly suspect about Ed's dubious fashion sense. "Now let's get going before anyone sees us."

They crossed quietly to the lane. It was eight minutes to eleven and, as planned, they were the first there. They didn't have to wait long before the first of the kids, if you could still call him that, joined them at the lane.

"Good evening Ed-boys," greeted Rolf, drawing stares from the three Eds. Underneath an undone yellow shirt, Rolf's muscular and unusually hairy chest was completely visible. He combined it with tight jeans ending in wide flares with a slit down each side, and cowboy boots, and his hair was messed up.

"Hi Rolf!" cried Ed, oblivious to his friends' shock.

"Good evening Rolf," said Edd, unable to remove his gaze from the disgusting yet mesmerising sight of Rolf's chest.

Eddy was speechless for a moment, before he came back to his senses, flashed a wide grin and called "Heya Rolfy-boy, that is one hell of a torso you got there!"

"Thank you well-dressed Ed-boy," smiled Rolf. "Rolf compliments you on your mastery of the new American style. Tell me- has Rolf done well?"

"Very well Rolf," answered Eddy.

At that moment they heard giggling from around the corner. Nazz and Kevin came from behind the fence, he looking suave in a grey turtleneck, black pants and baseball boots, and she looking beautiful in white pants, a white halter-neck studded with silver and white mules.

"Hi guys," giggled Nazz.

"Yo," said Kevin.

"Hey," said Eddy. "Hey Nazz, what's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing," replied Nazz, still giggling. "It's just, I've never been out, you know, _somewhere_ in pants before."

A few minutes later, Jonny Twobyfour turned up, dressed as ever in his usual white t-shirt, baggy blue jeans and cork-soled sandals, carrying his best friend Plank.

"Nice to see you made the effort, Jonny," sneered Kevin.

"Well, if we're all here, I guess we should be going," suggested Nazz.

"Wait a minute," said Eddy.

The sound of voices carried across the fences. Soon after, May and Marie popped into view.

"Aaargh! Kankers! Run Eddy run!" screamed Ed, having to be restrained by Eddy.

"Relax, bozo, I invited them," he said, struggling to keep Ed in one place.

"You invited them!?" accused Kevin, pointing to where May had just taken a nervous step back and Marie had put an arm round her to stop her from fleeing.

"Yeah, I invited them," challenged Eddy.

"You never told us they were coming," Kevin seethed.

"Do I have to tell you everything, darling?" replied Eddy, being as facetious as he could, which was very very facetious.

"I don't wanna go anywhere they are!" thundered Kevin.

Eddy just shrugged. "No one said you have to come."

Seeing that he was in a losing battle, Kevin resigned himself to an evening with the Kankers.

* * *

Up in his bedroom, Jimmy was having something of a sleepless night. Wondering if Sarah felt the same, he gazed out of the window at her house, where she lay in her double bed in the pretty pink bedroom he spent so much time in.

His eyes caught a movement on the street. People were down there, moving. Walking. Going somewhere. Where were they going? Who were they?

One was short. Eddy? And two very tall ones. Maybe they were Ed and Rolf. Something was going on. Why were all the older kids going out together in the middle of the night?

Did Sarah know Ed was gone? She must not, otherwise she'd have told and someone would be going after him.

When would they come back? Vowing to find out, he leant on the window and watched.

* * *

"This is the place," whispered Eddy, as the chic exterior of Christine's appeared in the street ahead. Finding a rusted metal gate, he led everyone to the back of the club, where a shaft of yellow light marked the open door.

Eddy approached it. There was a young man standing there, slender with greased back hair, a tight white tank top, dark jeans and a leather jacket several sizes too big.

"Eddy Bewley?" asked the man.

"Yeah that's me," answered Eddy.

The man opened the door wider so they could all come in. "Don't sit too close to the front; we don't want Christine to see she's got minors in."

They filed through to the main room, and found a largish table not too close to the stage, but close enough to see well.

When nothing happened for a while, Kevin suggested they get drinks.

"They'll see we're underage," argued Edd.

"Send Rolf and Marie, they look the eldest," suggested Jonny.

Marie looked over at Rolf, and he shrugged. The two got up. They did indeed look mature. Marie had tried a grunge look, and wore dark cut-off jeans, a wide belt and a black strapless corset, and her dark blue hair was adorned with a jet black streak, while Rolf's hairy bare chest was clearly that of a grown man.

May, by contrast, had tried to make herself look older with a glam rock style, wearing a tight top and hotpants, with huge knee-high boots, all in glittering silver, and plenty of shimmering makeup, but it served only to emphasise the fact that she was a rather figureless thirteen-year-old.

Rolf and Marie returned after a few minutes with a variety of alcoholic drinks, and they, Kevin and Ed helped themselves to beers, Edd and Nazz poured glasses of red wine, while the youngest three; Jonny, Eddy and May, began on the hard spirits.

A familiar melody began from the stage, the sound of a Bowie number from a few years before. They looked over, and saw not Bowie but Arnie on the stage with his back to them, leaning on a chair.

"_Well Annie's pretty neat yeah,_

_Always eats her meat yeah,_

_And Joe is awful strong,_

_Bet your life he's puttin' us on."_

He delivered the lines in profile, leering provocatively at the audience with his right eye. The he spun sharply to face them, putting his hand over his forehead in a melodramatic gesture.

"_Oh lordy, oh lordy,_

_You know I need some lovin'._

_Oh move me! Touch me!"_

With one leg upon the chair, he danced sexually, gyrating his hips and stroking his chest and thighs.

"_John, I'm only dancing._

_She turns me on, but I'm only dancing,_

_She turns me on, but don't get me wrong,_

_I'm only dancing."_

As the music abruptly changed, his dance snapped into a surly figure of defiance with a challenging, sarcastic smile.

"_The shadow of love was quick and clean,_

_Life's a well-thumbed machine._

_I saw you watching from the stairs,_

_You're everyone that ever cared."_

He was the epitome of discontent, the personification of misunderstood youth, in all its rebellious glory, and a shared moment of unity between the charismatic singer and his disillusioned audience.

"_Oh lordy, oh lordy,_

_You know I need some lovin'._

_Oh move me! Touch me!"_

And then in a snap his movements turned awkward and nervous, a shy parody of casual dance moves.

"_John, I'm only dancing._

_She turns me on, but I'm only dancing,_

_She turns me on, but don't get me wrong,_

_I'm only dancing."_

His face too was nervous, with a shaky smile a suppressed flirtation as he made careful yet cheeky eye contact with his imaginary John, dancing around imaginary people and tailoring his moves expertly around the attentions of the audience.

"_John, I'm only dancing._

_She turns me on, but I'm only dancing,_

_She turns me on, but don't get me wrong,_

_I'm only dancing."_

As he crossed his arms over his torso, bending his knees and lowering himself into a pathetic, desperate position, which faintly reminded Eddy of the way he had tried to hide his genitalia in the ditch, bringing up an uncomfortable wave of regret and sick fear, he stared out at the audience with his wide brown eyes, wretchedly begging each one.

"_Dancing…_

_Won't someone dance with me?"_

He reached out to them, seemingly keeping his pleading eyes on all of them, his body bent and yearning.

"_Touch me!"_

He was crying rather than singing, and he snapped his arms back around himself.

"_Aawww!"_

He finished off, dancing and gyrating shakily, like he was exhausted with need, still keeping each person in the room amazed, thrilled by the air of sexuality, perfectly in time with the steely guitar and clanging drums. Then, as it faded, he sank to his knees on the floor clutching the chair in despair need.

Someone near the bar began clapping. The rest of the club joined in, and the kids were caught up in the euphoric applause.

"Thank you," said Arnie, standing up, all traces of the character he had become while singing gone away in an instant. "And now, here's something a lot less rehearsed…"

* * *

Arnie sang a few more songs, some new, some old, all combined with flawlessly choreographed dramatic dances. Some were sad, some were fast and exciting, and some were slightly confusing, but all of them were sexy. Arnie manipulated his body like he wasn't in it, and the club seemed to love it.

Once his set was over, there was a high-pitched ballad singer and a local stand-up comedian, neither of which quite matched Arnie's skill. The audience lost interest after a while, though few left before closing.

As the comedian finished his routine, the man from the back door snuck up to their table.

"Last orders are in ten minutes," he said. "You should get out before then so Christine doesn't see you when she starts kicking people out."

They nodded, and he went back into the back room. Kevin, Nazz, Jonny, May, Marie and the Eds finished up their drinks, but Rolf, keeping his eye on the back door, got up and followed him hurriedly, mumbling that he would be back.

"Rolf sure is weird," commented Nazz.

* * *

Rolf found the man waiting for someone in the back.

"Y'alright?" he asked.

"You are a member of the club of Arnie Bewley, yes?" Rolf asked.

The man simply raised an eyebrow.

"Rolf would like to join your club."

The man looked him up and down. "And how old is Rolf?"

"Sixteen," he answered.

The man smiled. "If you can take it, you're in." He winked. "My name's Eric."

"You…"

Rolf couldn't say any more, for various reasons.

* * *

"We should get out before anyone sees us," said Kevin.

"What about Rolf?" asked Nazz.

"He went that way; we'll meet him on the way out."

Nazz felt a little bad about not waiting, but as the others all got up and made for the door to the back, she had no choice but to follow.

As the others disappeared round a corner, a cry of "Whoa!" sent her running after them. There, the sight of Rolf with his face wrapped around that of the man who let them in aroused a rush of surprise, and another, hotter tickle, and she was by no means the only one who felt it.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"It was so strange Sarah, they were all there, going somewhere," Jimmy told her wide-eyed.

"Wow, Jimmy, we should really tell our parents," replied Sarah.

"You mean get Kevin in trouble?" trembled Jimmy. "They're all bigger than us Sarah."

"I'm not scared of Kevin, Jimmy, and you shouldn't be either," said Sarah.

"I think something big's going on," insisted Jimmy, "and if we tell our parents, we might never find out what it is."

"Something big?" questioned Sarah.

"Bigger than the usual things," confirmed Jimmy. "I think we should investigate ourselves and find out."

Sarah smiled. "You might just be right Jimmy."

* * *

When Eddy got up he found his mother asleep in the kitchen. Deciding it would be best not to disturb her, he crept to the cupboard and opened it. Of course, as luck would have it, a box of Chunky Puffs fell to the floor, and his lightly sleeping mother woke with a start.

"Oh here you are," she glared. "Where were you last night?"

"Ed saw a spider; I needed to catch it for him."

"And Ed usually wakes you in the middle of the night to catch spiders?"

"Yeah, I'm surprised this is the first time you noticed," Eddy lied, his face open and flawless.

"And it usually takes you hours to do?"

"You know me Mom; I'm not great with spiders myself."

His mother sat still and stared for a few moments, until Eddy thought she had frozen in time and he could leave and never have to worry about her again. He loved his mother as much as any son did, but this idea was strangely appealing. It scared him.

"You went to see Arnie didn't you."

Eddy didn't see the point in lying any more. Arnie was his brother; he could see him if he wanted to.

"Yes."

"Remember what I told you Eddy," his mother said in a restrained voice, trying to be both understanding and threatening at the same time, and not really managing either. Her tone was like a veiled threat, and Eddy found it frightening. "He's a bad influence on you, and remember how sad you were when you woke up and found him gone. We want you to remember the good things about your brother, and that means not seeing what he's become."

"He's still the same person!" screamed Eddy. "So what if he dances in clubs and humps everyone in sight!? He's still my brother, he's still a good brother, and I still want to see him! He left, but now he's back, and I'm going to make the most of that!"

"We know what's best for you and-"

"I want to know my brother and know where he is! I want him to be a part of my life. You want to pretend he's not here, like he's dead, and I bet that's what you'll tell me some day! You want to break us up! You want to break up this family and take away the only person who really knew me! Who showed me everything I know! What'd you ever teach me Mom? Is that really what's best for me?"

She had never heard an outburst like this from Eddy before. With a shudder, she realised just how alike he and Arnie were. Knowing she had to make a move but unsure what, she did the first thing that came to her head.

"You're grounded young man!" she screeched. "Get to your room now!"

"Get bent," muttered Eddy, heading for the front door.

"Come back here!" she yelled and chased him down the hall.

He began to run, threw open the front door and ran into the street, slamming the door into her, hitting her in the face. She saw the dark blur crossing the street through the frosted glass, fell to floor and cried in the silent hall.

* * *

Inevitably, Eddy found himself gravitating towards Edd's house. He thought of the day before, when the strangeness and sadness of the world melted away before Edd and smiled.

He went to the back door, where the two usually met, but he felt tears begin to burn behind his eyes when he heard raised voices there too. He crept a little closer, and what he heard shocked him. Genuinely shocked him into silence and stillness.

"You mad bitch, I told you this would happen!"

"You never tried to stop it did you, you whore-sucking pussy thief!"

"I told you you should never have kept him!"

The door slid open and Edd fell into the back yard and began to cry. Eddy took a few steps closer, holding out a hand to Edd, but before he could say a word Edd threw himself at Eddy and flung his arms round his neck, crying deep into Eddy's shirt.

Because of his taller height, Edd's face hung down, close to Eddy's. A thought struck Eddy. Something to cheer Edd up. Show him he really was loved. His lips touched Edd's, but Edd jumped away in shock. His big blue eyes stared at Eddy in shock and disbelief.

He didn't mean to, it was only meant to cheer him up, he loved him, he wouldn't do anything her didn't like, he thought he wouldn't mind, it wasn't a bad thing.

So many thoughts ran through Eddy's mind but he couldn't say a thing. Edd ran away behind his house, and Eddy thought better than to follow him.

Instead he wandered the cul-de-sac, but no one was there. Ed was not in his room. Sadly he turned into the lane, and saw May Kanker sitting there on an old crate, thinking, tranquil.

He smiled at her, and she smiled back, but made no move. He sat down on a smaller crate next to her. He couldn't speak for a moment, and just looked at her. Her shiny clothes and glittery makeup were gone, and in there place was the simple, plain face and scruffy clothes of the May he had come to know.

He opened his mouth. She smiled. "So… what'd you think of last night?"

"I loved it, thank you Eddy," she replied. "I never realised your brother could sing like that. We usually only hear him screaming."

"Did your mom get angry about you going out?"

"No, she doesn't care."

"Wow," sighed Eddy. "Mine did."

"What happened?" asked May.

"Tried to ground me, so I ran out," he answered.

May sighed.

"At least your mom treats you like a grown-up," complained Eddy. "Mine still thinks I'm a child. Whatever I do, it's childish. When Arnie ran away, it was childish. Until he didn't come back. Now they'll say I'm childish, even though I made my decision and went with it."

"That's not what being grown up is," said May. "It's about…"

"That," finished Eddy.

"What Arnie does."

"It's not even that much. You just get naked and move. I bet we could do it."

May looked at him. She giggled. "It's usually us who say that." She checked herself. "_Was_ us."

Eddy looked into her purplish blue eyes. "Wanna come to the junkyard?"

"Okay."

They set off together, the streets still deserted.

When they arrived at the junkyard, Eddy took May to the van where he, Ed and Edd came sometimes to play, or scheme, or get away. The sat on the wobbling mass of the waterbed, laughing at the motion, coming closer and closer, eventually holding each other as the mattress moved them up and down.

And lips came together, hands caressed fabric and flesh, clothes came off, and they grew up together.

It hurt at first, just as May had heard it would, but then the pain went away, and was replaced by pure pleasure, greater than anything she had ever known. As her eyes flickered open and closed, she saw from Eddy's face that he felt it too. She started to scream, like she had heard Lee do in the night, and she heard him join in, and they lay and screamed together, safe in the knowledge that there was no one around to hear them.

* * *

They lay in silence. They breathed heavily. They were exhausted. They were on top of the world. No one could ever take this pleasure away. It was too much for other people.

When they finally got up, they were shaky.

"Ooh," gasped May, holding her stomach. "That felt weird."

"What?" asked Eddy.

"This weird feeling in my belly. Does it always do that?"

"I don't know," replied Eddy. "I'm okay." Something dawned on him. "You don't think…?"

"We didn't think to use- no!"

They stared at each other in shock for a moment.

"We'll have to check!" cried May. "Come on!"

She ran out of the junkyard, Eddy in tow.

* * *

Outside the chemist's, May flashed a smile at Eddy. "Still some good things about being a kid," she said.

She walked confidently into the chemist's. "Hi," she said brightly. "I'd like a pregnancy test please." She emptied her pockets. "I have… nine dollars and eighty-seven cents."

The chemist looked at her. Eddy saw her visibly swell with excitement. "Oh, I'm so excited!" she squealed. "My Mommy's going to have a baby! I hope she has a little boy, because I've got two sisters already and I'd love a little brother!"

The chemist smiled and found the appropriately priced pregnancy test, and took the money. May left with it.

She looked at Eddy, and the two burst out laughing in unison.

* * *

They ran to the construction site near the cul-de-sac and, careful to avoid any passing builders, snuck into a portapotty.

"What do you do with that?" Eddy asked.

"I think I'm supposed to pee on it," May answered, looking intently at the instruction leaflet.

Shrugging, she pulled down her jeans and sat on the toilet, holding the test under her. "Here goes nothing," she said, her voice shaking slightly, and let a burst of urine fall onto the test. She stood up, holding the soaked test between the tips of two fingers and pulling up her jeans with one hand.

"How long do I have to wait?" she asked.

Eddy studied the instructions. "About five minutes," he answered.

There was silence.

"I think it'll be negative," May said eventually. "You're supposed to be sick if you're pregnant."

"I thought that was only in the mornings," replied Eddy.

The truth was, neither knew. Both were youngest children, and they had never known anyone particularly close to them become pregnant.

Eventually, May noticed the test begin to change colour. Their breaths short, she and Eddy watched the change closely, begging and praying for negative.

"It's gone blue," May observed.

"That means…" said Eddy, looking again at the instructions. "It's negative!"

"Thank God!" cried May.

Eddy threw his arms around May, and she attempted to hug back.

"Watch out for the test, Eddy," she warned. "It's got pee all over it."

They broke apart, giggling. May disposed of her pregnancy test and washed her hands, and they left the construction site, to see if there was anyone there.


	6. Chapter 6

Hi everyone. Sorry for this having taken ages, I've been kinds preoccupied with various Mighty Boosh things and the like. But I thought this really needed updating, and the next chapter hopefully won't have to wait quite so long.

Also, if you didn't realise, I'm English, but obviously since it's an American show I've been trying to use an American narrative voice, but if you spot any mistakes in the dialect or anything, please let me know.

Warning: I found it necessary to include a fairly graphic group sex scene. All characters are of age, and all acts are consensual, but if you feel this will offend you, be warned.

Anyway, hope you enjoy.

Chapter Six

Rolf often let himself out of the house in the dead of night, and so he had no worries as he quietly dressed and slipped out the back door. But it was not to check on animals or inspect the phases of the moon that he was going out for tonight, and that was what worried him. He knew his family would be disappointed if they found out just what he was going to take part in tonight. He knew they would punish him, and he knew that the shame of his actions would not be easily forgotten. There was a chance, even, that it never would be.

But he went anyway.

He passed through the still back yard, silent among the lows and snufflings of sleeping animals, and down the empty lane to the trailer park. He crept between the tin monstrosities, warily looking out for anyone who might be awake and jeopardise his secrecy, aiming right for the back. Through the trees, tall and menacing, but which he knew were his biggest shelter from the prying eyes of onlookers. And there it was. The famed ditch.

He looked down nervously, but the anticipation that had been torturing him as he approached receded as he saw Eric sitting down, leaning on the wall of dirt, looking for all the world like he was sitting in a lounge or a café talking to anyone in polite society. Arnie was there too, arms around Lee Kanker. They were absorbed in each other.

"Rolf!" Eric called, jerking him from his apprehensive musings. Eric was smiling warmly, holding out an arm to welcome him down.

Rolf descended the embankment slowly, feeling his heart begin to pulse faster, feeling hot and sweaty as he accepted Eric's hand and the soft, friendly kiss that succeeded it. Eric sat down, bringing Rolf to the ground with him, and pointed around the ditch to the various people he had been conversing with. He motioned to a couple, sitting close; a man with shaggy dark hair wearing ripped jeans and a woman with a brown bob, who seemed to be wearing nothing under her trenchcoat. "This is Sasha, and this is Tyler. And this," introduced Eric, indicating another woman close by, with long reddish brown hair and a slightly bored expression, dressed all in leather, "is Christine."

Rolf smiled awkwardly and said "hello", hoping Christine wouldn't recognise him from the fateful night at the club.

"Ladies and ladyboy," continued Eric, "this is Rolf."

Sasha and Tyler smiled widely, said "hi" and reached out and shook his hand in turn, just like anyone else would. Rolf saw Christine's smile widen a little and her features become more animated as she too shook his hand, warmly and affably. It seemed she hadn't seen him that night. Rolf managed to break a smile.

"Hi Rolf," said another voice, almost shyly, which Rolf recognised with a twinge of excitement. There was Arnie, for some reason looking just as nervous as he was, holding out his hand. Rolf took it. "It's nice to see you again," he said.

"You as well, Arnie," replied Rolf, shaking slowly. It seemed that perhaps Arnie had been hoping to meet him in different circumstances.

Lee Kanker said nothing. She smiled, widely but joylessly, and observed him with a calculating look.

Tyler began to paw at Sasha. Sasha sat still, slightly turned away from him, holding back a smile. As Tyler leaned closer to her, she leant over the other way and kissed Christine instead. Rolf stared as Sasha and Christine's eyes closed and their mouths writhed against each other, tongues squirming for position. They pulled apart, Sasha's tongue still out and remaining stretched towards Christine's mouth, and Rolf couldn't take his eyes off the sight. Two women. Two _women_ kissing. He had never seen such a thing, and could never have believed that it could ever happen.

But then, at one time, he had thought two men could never kiss, and he was living proof that they did.

Tyler had begun to kiss Sasha's neck. She was leaning back to him, but she was still facing Christine. Rolf saw Tyler reach for the top button of Sasha's trenchcoat, but she batted his hand away with hers and leaned forward, thrusting her chest towards Christine. Christine reached for a button, and Sasha let her finger it open, and then the next, and the next, and the next.

Sasha was indeed wearing nothing under her trenchcoat.

All Rolf could see was a glowing vista of pale breasts and hips and thighs, mystifying like the moonlight, and a dark mass of pubic hair, strange and exotic as a forest at midnight. He was only dimly aware, like he was in a trance, when Christine leant forward to suck at Sasha's breasts, while Tyler ran his hands along her arms and kissed all over her shoulders.

Arnie came into the picture, already naked, and started to suck hungrily at Christine's neck. Aside from a tiny flicker of a smile and a slight incline of the head, Christine seemed to ignore him, and Rolf saw her slip a hand between Sasha's thighs.

Sasha made a sound, somewhere between a gasp and a cry, and rose up on her knees, almost tipping herself backwards, her mouth open and her eyes wide.

"_Ohh, oh, oh, oh mama! Oh mama! Oh _mama!_"_

Tyler was there to catch her, and he lifted her up, inclining her forward slightly. Rolf could see Tyler's huge erection as he threw aside his ripped jeans and pulled away his t-shirt. God, were they all that huge? He watched as Tyler took Sasha by the hips and just thrust. Sasha practically screamed. Then her face became more open and filled with pleasure, while Christine's remained scrunched up in effort and Tyler's was contorted with need.

Arnie was trying to rip Christine's blouse off, while Lee Kanker knelt behind him, top gone and pants round her ankles, her arms around him. She was pulling his erection. Jerking it.

"Come on," he heard Eric say, but the voice was quiet and ghostlike. Eric came into view before him, on his knees with his head down. Before Rolf could feel the cold air on his penis, it was swallowed up in the warm, wet sensation of Eric's mouth. He could feel his own erection getting bigger, stronger, when suddenly Eric pulled away and it was seized by cold. He looked down. God, it was just as enormous as Tyler's. "Come on," Eric said again, now turning and leaning towards Tyler. He saw Tyler lean down and kiss Eric sloppily on the mouth. Face covered in saliva, Eric turned back to Rolf. "Just put it in," he gasped, raising his ass in the air. "Just stick it in before it goes dry!"

Rolf crept forward. He found the hole.

He stuck it in.

He felt Eric jerk, and saw him haul his head up to kiss Tyler harder. Rolf tried to move along with Eric's bucking, and eventually found himself moving to his own regular rhythm, which Eric then mimicked.

Tyler's hands came to his side and Rolf could see them jerk as they pulled at Eric's erect penis. Rolf moved faster. Faster. Faster!

Crying out to the air, he felt a release inside of Eric. Eric cried too, and a white stream spewed all over Tyler and Sasha.

Rolf fell back, pulling himself out of Eric, and Eric fell back next to him, panting. "My god you're _good!_"

* * *

When Rolf came to he felt ill.

He was flooded with images. Everywhere he looked, another person. Another person, another image.

Arnie and Lee. Lee and Tyler. Tyler and Sasha. Sasha and Christine. Christine and Tyler. Tyler and Eric. Eric and Arnie. Arnie and Sasha. Sasha and Lee. Lee and Christine. Christine and Arnie.

And him.

Images of him.

Images of him he obviously couldn't have seen, but he could imagine, because he had been there.

Christine pulling him on top of her, slipping a finger into his ass and wiggling it until he gasped and writhed, then opening her legs and inviting him, and he had known what to do this time and just stuck it in.

Tyler and Lee coming at him at once, kissing and biting his shoulders and then moving their way down and kissing everything else.

His mouth between Sasha's legs and the bitter taste as she smothered his head in her thighs.

Arnie pinning him down and pushing his legs up, almost bending him in half, pushing him open and sticking it in.

He felt very very ill.

He saw that it was still only just dawn, and if he crept in he could pretend he had just gotten up to feed the goats as normal.

No one need ever know.

He got up and stepped over the naked bodies, and recovered his clothes and slipped away.

He would never come back.


	7. Chapter 7

I know I said I wouldn't take ages putting this up, but I did. Very sorry. I started it straight away, had a block, and then got back into all my Mighty Boosh stuff and this sort of fell by the wayside again. But a morning of non-stop typing with Hunky Dory playing through several times sorted it out pretty well. I will try not to wait this long again, but I won't make promises because if I'm honest I have no idea if I'll keep them or not.

Also, there won't be any more graphic sex AT ALL. That is a promise.

And as well, I know I've mentioned this before, but if there's anything anywhere in this fic that doesn't sound authentically American, please let me know so I can change it. Thanks.

I hope this is pleasing.

Chapter Seven

Marie had considered it. After all, the situation was dire.

They were alone. They had no money.

Plus, she was the last of the Kankers to lose her virginity.

There was one way to solve all of her problems. All of them at once. It would be easy, she knew. Very easy.

But when she thought of it, the fact that she was underage didn't even enter into it. It didn't matter.

It didn't matter how bad life got, how hard up they were.

Marie Kanker was not going to do that.

* * *

Eddy hadn't seen May. They had met in the morning, and then they had had sex, and then she had gone and he hadn't seen her since.

It had been almost two weeks.

Edd was avoiding him. He didn't know why. Was it because he had kissed him, or was it because of… the other thing? That Eddy knew about it. Sometimes people were like that. They didn't want your help.

Ed had clung onto him like a limpet since he had stopped being grounded, and much as he loved the clumsy oaf, there was only so much shouting catchphrases from old b-movies and songs about chickens he could take.

It almost surprised him for a while that once he managed to leave Ed in Jonny's easily amused hands, he headed for the trailer park.

Knocking on the battered metal door, he heard footsteps approach, and Marie opened the door. She looked pretty rough. One bra strap hung down off her shoulder under her vest, and her jeans looked like they hadn't been washed for weeks. Her usual eyeshadow was missing, and Eddy thought he could see brown roots under her blue hair. She looked at him, her pissed-off expression making him wonder if they'd ever really gotten any closer than players in the old Eds-versus-Kankers game of cat and mouse.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"Erm…" he stammered. "Is May in?"

Marie looked him over for a moment. "No."

"Where is she?"

Marie was turned back, about to retreat into the trailer. "Downtown."

"How long's she been downtown?"

"Since eight o' clock this morning."

"What she could just go?"

Eddy was amazed. He wasn't allowed downtown at all, let alone early in the morning, before his parents awoke.

"Yeah…" said Marie, like this was the most natural and obvious thing in the world.

"Your mom let her?"

Marie sighed. Then, suddenly, she spun round and pounded the door with the side of her fist.

"Whoa!" cried Eddy, backing away. "What'd I say?"

"Isn't it obvious, Eddy?" Marie shrieked. "Isn't the most absolutely fucking obvious thing in the fucking world?"

"What?" Eddy pleaded.

Slamming a fist into the door again, this time with the slightest hint of resignation, Marie stalked back into the trailer.

Eddy followed her. Apart from Marie, looking weary and irate collapsed on the old sofa, the trailer is empty. Silent.

Empty and silent at eleven-thirty a.m. on a Sunday morning.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "How long?"

"Eight months," said Marie, her voice quiet and flat. "We got home from school and she wasn't there."

"Do you need-"

"We're fine!" Marie snapped.

She glared like a rottweiler on a chain. Eddy fled.

* * *

The sun was just beginning to set, but Rolf didn't have time to look up and see the colours in the sky. The potato patch needed hoeing. He really should have done it already. And after that the cowshed needed cleaning out. He had been working far too slowly today. He had been distracted. For a while he'd be fine, but then it'd come flashing back to him and then he just wouldn't be able to take his mind off-

"Rolf!" The all-too-familiar voice was calling to him from the fence at the bottom of the yard. Rolf looked up. He didn't want to. He didn't want to face the consequences of his actions. So far he had managed to avoid them, and he wished it would stay that way. "Rolf, where have you been, man?"

Rolf couldn't think of a reply. How do you tell someone the night you spent with them made you sick to the stomach? If Eric hadn't come and found him, Rolf would have been so happy just to never see him again.

"Rolf, are you okay?"

Rolf jerked out of his thoughts. "Yes," he said, finding his legs taking him unbidden to where Eric was standing. "Yes, Rolf is fine."

Eric smiled, with what looked like relief. "Oh, thank god," he said. "We thought you'd gone the way Lee had." The smile fell from his face, and he leaned in closer to Rolf's face. "Did they find out?" he whispered.

"No."

"It's okay, you know," Eric told him, face serious, with no trace of a smile. "If you're meant to be gay, or bi, you're just meant to be. It wouldn't exist if it wasn't meant to."

He felt that hand on his shoulder, and he shrugged it off. "No," he said.

Eric was looking at him with a sort of faint shock on his face. "Rolf…" he said, and trailed off. His hand rose from where it had settled on the fence and brushed Rolf's cheek. Then he leaned his face up, and his warm lips were on Rolf's again, sucking tenderly, and Rolf was almost sucked back in.

He pushed, and Eric fell backward to the ground. Rolf left him there.

* * *

Sarah and Jimmy had spent the day staking out all the other kids. There didn't seem to be much amiss. Kevin and Nazz had been hanging around the lane, not doing much, and Ed and Jonny had gone into the woods and had a long, incomprehensible conversation about squirrels, or mutants. Or mutant squirrels. And Rolf had spent most of the day working in his yard.

But a few very unusual things had been happening. Edd had been sitting around brooding for quite a while. Sarah had wanted to go and cheer him up, but Jimmy had reminded her that they couldn't get too closely involved with the subjects of their investigation. In the evening, Rolf had pushed a strange man over. And, what was strangest, Eddy had gone to the trailer park, alone. There must be something going on. Marie Kanker had opened the door, and she hadn't flirted with him or hit him, which Sarah wouldn't have believed if she hadn't seen it. It must, she told Jimmy, have something to do with the time a few weeks earlier, when Eddy had met May Kanker, and they had gone to the junkyard, and then came out a few hours later and gone to a chemist's.

Jimmy nodded along as they discussed their findings.

Suddenly, they became aware of a strange commotion in the cul-de-sac.

May Kanker was walking down then street, her face screwed up in anger. Proper anger. Not the sort of anger they had when they were chasing the Eds, when they were just playing. Not even the sort of anger they had for everyone else, where they were always trying to look superior. She was just angry.

The other kids were coming to look at her. "Look," whispered Jimmy. He pointed, and Sarah looked and saw that Marie Kanker had come into the cul-de-sac, alone, and was hanging at the back of the crowd.

Eddy came forward and met May. "Hey," he said. "You okay? What were you doing downtown?"

May's face screwed up even more. Then she shrieked. Almost screamed. "I'm fucking sick of it!" she howled. Sarah gasped, and heard Jimmy doing the same next to her. May was crying now. "I'm sick of it. I'm really really sick of it."

They watched her hurl a large, flat object she lad been carrying at a street lamp, then push Eddy away and force her way through the crowd. Looking past everyone else, they saw May throw herself at Marie, and the two disappeared, still hugging.

The other kids began to disappear into their houses. Sarah heard her own mom calling her and Ed in. She and Jimmy walked over to the street lamp where May had thrown what she was carrying, and looked around at it. But it wasn't there.

"Maybe we should go downtown and see where May's been," Sarah whispered to Jimmy as the street emptied.

"Go downtown?" Jimmy squealed, causing Sarah to shush him urgently. "We can't go there! What'll our parents say?"

"They don't have to know, do they." Sarah smiled. She always knew how to make Jimmy see things her way.

* * *

Edd slept in late again. He'd started doing it recently, not getting up until maybe ten-thirty each morning, when he had used to get up at seven-fifteen sharp. He liked to get up early. It made the day seem more full, plus, everyone else got up much later than him, so it guaranteed him some time to himself. Sometimes he was glad he was an only child, because it meant he could always have time to himself when he needed it.

But then he woke up to an empty house and realised he had too much time to himself.

He looked at the clock. Nine-thirty-five. Part of him wanted to go back to sleep, because it wasn't really that late, but he forced himself not to. He was awake now, so he really should get up.

He took a shower and pulled on an old CND t-shirt and some baggy jeans, and made sure his beanie covered everything. What to do today? He didn't want to go outside. He'd been feeling very private lately. He got lonely sometimes, but he just didn't feel like facing people.

So… there was always the TV. There might be some quality educational programming on. A nature documentary or something. That might be interesting.

Or it might not; he had already seen most of them.

There was a knock at the front door. Edd's pulse raised a little. Eddy had been coming round and knocking once or twice a day for the past two weeks or so, and Edd had had to hide and pretend he wasn't there until he went away. And there was only so long he could keep doing it for.

But when Edd looked out of his bedroom window, he noticed that it wasn't Eddy who was knocking, but May. He went downstairs and opened the door for her.

"Good morning, May," he said, surprised to find her there, and slightly concerned to see her red eyes.

"Morning Double D," replied May. Her voice was quiet and weak; so different to its usual tone and volume that Edd began to feel quite worried. She smiled, but there was no joy behind it. "Could I have my…"

"Of course," Edd answered quickly, afraid that May was about to cry. He retreated to the living room and came back with a photograph.

"I never meant to throw it away," May told him, stray tears beginning to run down her cheeks.

"I know you didn't," Edd replied. He looked down at the photo. It was a school photo which the girls had paid for, in one of those card frames. In it, Lee Kanker leaned forward on her seat, developing figure as far on show as it could possibly get through her cut-offs and cowboy boots, one hand brushing aside her immaculately curled hair to reveal one perfectly shadowed almond-shaped green eye.

May gave him that joyless smile again. "It's the most recent picture we've got of her," she said.

"Are you sure she's downtown?" Edd asked.

"I don't know where else to look."

May sniffed, and the tears began to flow more freely. She stood there for a few moments as they fell down her face. He heard her breathing deeply, trying to calm herself, before she reached up and wiped the tears away.

"I miss her," she said, her voice now even weaker. "She was a bitch, but I miss her so much."

May turned to go.

"Erm, May," Edd called after her. "If there's anything I can do…"

May smiled again, not quite so sadly this time. "Thanks Double D," she replied. She held up the picture. "And thanks for keeping it."

He watched as she disappeared from the street.


End file.
